More development, more nostalgia:

Nigel turned six a month ago. Not an hour goes by that I don’t think about his disability. There are moments, yes, that I can just enjoy the life we do have, the accomplishments he has made, and for a moment convince myself that our lives are not defined by autism. I can usually find some time at home each day when I realize that we have all been functioning at our own version of normal, and everything is good. Even just for ten minutes.

But Nigel is learning and growing as I thought and hoped he would. I hope one day to converse with him on a level higher than “Would you like a sandwich or scrambled eggs for dinner?” But for now, the fact that he can answer me is wonderful. He rarely screams at home anymore.

This year Brian [my then-boyfriend] and I took the boys on their first camping trip. We went to the coast and got rained out, so we just drove until it stopped raining and ended up at a park/campground in Grants Pass. As we were unpacking the car, every minute or less we would hear the roar of some type of vehicle pass nearby. First I thought it might be low-flying planes, then I thought the campground was next to a freeway and that the noise was caused by trucks roaring by. But it was louder than that. The sound was invasive, jolting. Each time one would pass, Nigel would nearly go into convulsions of fear and sensory overload. This went on for about ten minutes, and I knew we would have to leave if it didn’t stop soon. I ran down a path through some thick bushes and came out on the banks of the Rogue River. About ten seconds later a speedboat roared by, followed by another. I went back and told Brian what was making the noise, and we figured it would be over soon. Apparently there was a race going on, called Boatnik. Brian thought the boys would like to go down to the river to see the boats, but I thought that would make it worse for them to be so close. I was wrong. As soon as Nigel saw what was making the noise, his fear was gone and he enjoyed watching the boats while covering his ears. He even joined Brian in cheering them on! His capacity to adjust to his disability truly amazes me.