So often with ASD in the house (and especially away from the house), we focus on damage control and looking for signs of anger, frustration, and sensory overload, trying to cut them off at the pass before they mushroom into a complete meltdown. We instinctively watch for signs of escalation in our children and have learned their triggers, how to avoid them if possible and how to manage them if not. We are attuned to their body language, their sounds, their facial cues. We’ve got it down to a science.

Last night I heard Nigel’s laughter while he watched a funny movie, his hearty, sincere belly laugh.  And I smiled, enjoying his happiness. He also hums when he’s happy, a soothing little six- or seven-note tune that he repeats over and over again. Often I will walk by his bedroom as he is working on his computer, building Lego, or reading, and I hear his happy humming. And I remember when he was a baby how I used to hum while rocking him in the rocking chair, my humming reverberating near his head as we both rested. His current hum is not the same tune, but when I hear it I get the same feeling, the same serenity, as I did with my humming from his babyhood – ethereal, calming, and restorative.

The signs of contentment are just as important as the signs of distress. We may not need to attend to them, but we appreciate them, fleeting as they may be. Sometimes I think we need to pay as much attention to those moments as we do to the others.

Happy humming, everyone.