Like many families with autism, we start planning for Halloween early. When Nigel was younger, it was to prepare him for the sensory issues that would come up. Eight years ago, the Halloween that he was six, while we carved pumpkins I played a cassette tape of “spooky” sounds: wind blowing, doors creaking, chains dragging, and an occasional howl or scream. Nigel was very disturbed by the tape, so I shut it off so that he could join us with the pumpkin carving. For the next hour, even though the music had remained off, Nigel would say every few minutes, “Music is off. Music is finished. No more music.” We didn’t hear much spontaneous speech from him in those days, but he was really motivated to tell me how he felt about that tape. Every time he said it, I assured him in a calm voice, “That’s right, no more music,” but he continued to make his statements until we were completely finished carving the pumpkins. (I realized that maybe because I left the tape player in the kitchen with us that he was afraid that the music would start again; I should have put it away, out of sight.) The following year, when Nigel was seven, I mentioned getting pumpkins to carve for Halloween, and the first thing out of his mouth was “And we will not play the Halloween music.” (His sentence structure improved greatly that year.) Then he said it a few more times that afternoon, and we hadn’t even bought the pumpkins yet.

But in recent years, the reason we start planning for Halloween early is because we love it so much, especially Nigel. We have many decorations to put up – both inside and outside, costumes to piece together, a party to plan (Nigel’s birthday is October 27), and movies to watch. Our all-time favorite is Disney’s The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, and we try to watch it only in October. Nigel couldn’t wait any longer and had it on the other day. I walked past him as he watched it in the living room, and he commented, “Brom Bones is a bully. He is an angry DNA strand.”

 I told him that was a good way to put it.

Then a few minutes later, after the scene in which Brom Bones sings his spooky song at the end of the party, Nigel said, “I remember when those kinds of sounds scared me. They really gave me the heebie-jeebies – when I was a little kid. But I’m not afraid anymore. You know that music you played while we used to carve pumpkins? I don’t mind it now. Because I’m a little older.”

Halloween? Scary? What scares me is Nigel’s memory.