Home Again…

home again, jiggity700-milejig.

Please extend a warm welcome-back to Aidan, who turned 14 on the 15th (and is excited about his “golden” next year):

and Nigel, who acquired a hand-me-down laptop and iPhone this summer:

I don’t even have an iPhone, but anyway, my boys are back, and I am complete again. I remember a few summers ago when I was lamenting to an acquaintance of mine (who did not have children) about how much I missed them. He said, “If you miss them so much now, how are you going to manage when they go to college?!” I bristled and tried to be diplomatic when I pointed out that they’re supposed to go to college when they finish high school, not preschool, as Aidan had the first summer he spent away from me. Leaving home is “supposed” to happen when they’re eighteen or nineteen, not when they’re five. It’s not supposed to be like this, I would moan every summer. They’re so little! They’re supposed to be with me now. But that’s not how it happened for us. I’ve had to get used to not seeing my children for several weeks at a time, since they were very young. Sometimes it’s been outright surreal, year after year. I would liken it to how it might be if I were in the military, but I have no experience in that area, so that’s merely speculation. I do know that these last nine summers have been yet another lesson for me in letting go, in trusting, and in being open to something outside the typical parenting experience.

In any case, we are now in the midst of the end-of-summer shuffle: the filling out of registration papers and standing in line to turn them in and pay fees, the scheduling of IEP meetings, the inventorying of past school supplies and the shopping for what’s needed, the getting back in touch with friends, therapists, and teachers to let them know what happened, or rather what didn’t. But it’s good to have them home. It’s good to know that they’ll be comfortable when they start school in less than two weeks. It’s good to have things settled. It’s all good.

And for the record, I’m still going to miss them when they go away to college. But oh, when and if that day comes, I will be one proud mom.

Of course, I already am.

20 thoughts on “Home Again…

  1. Alexis McConnell

    Happy Birthday Aidan…and welcome home boys.
    Tanya you must have let that breath of peace escape your lips. That wonderful feeling of “its okay now” will never leave you no matter how old your children are and you look around and see them, touch them, and sit in awe of them. Need I say more about the true meaning of Motherhood.

  2. Kate

    Somehow I missed the post two weeks ago about your change of plans. Wow, what a change in paradigm.
    Somehow i always pictured you more of an Oregon girl as an LA one anyway. I hope this works out for you. Hard to sell in this market I suppose. Good luck!

  3. AmyLK

    I love when Son gets home from his vists with his dad as will happen this coming Sunday. I am almost counting the time down but am still enjoying my peace and quiet.

  4. Tera

    My favorite part? The Winnie The Pooh behind the computer savvy Nigel. And wow, did Aiden suddenly grow up? He looks so much more mature than the last pics I saw of him. Don’t mean to cause pain mama;-) Beautiful boys!

  5. Em

    Letting go is hard for all parents. I think letting go for parents like us….almost impossible! We’ve spent out lives so enmeshed in caring for, guiding, advocating, nurturing, teaching, etc, etc…to just let go is really, really hard.

  6. Cheryl

    I’m so happy for you Tanya, to have the boys back home with you! Enjoy these last days before school starts back up again, and thanks for the wonderful night of visiting and green smoothies and guacamole! It was wonderful! :0) Hugs to you and the boys!

  7. Lex Savko

    Welcome back, Aidan and Nigel! Well, welcome back to Oregon, L.A. misses you.;) I hope you both have a great school year!

  8. Carrie N

    Aaah, the “end of summer shuffle” – we’re doing that over here too.

    You’ve got two down right handsome young men there. Really, young MEN. Wow.

    Here’s to a great school year. Will be here to read all about it.

  9. rhemashope

    my sis has to send her daughter to her father for 2 weeks in the summer, and it’s absolute torture for her. so glad your boys are home and you’re complete again.

    i still remember your letter to aidan from last year. happy belated birthday, aidan!

  10. M

    very nice. i’m glad all of your favorite puzzle pieces have clicked back into place, must be an extremely pleasant feeling. hope all is well in tanya land.

Comments are closed.