The Lowdown, Vol. 3

Since the boys are gone this week for Spring Break (visiting their dad in L.A.) and I am feeling the usual disjointedness with them away, I figured it was time for another edition of Personal Posts. Because I’m sure you were all waiting for it with baited breath, right? No? Okay.

But surely you must be slightly curious about the raw food thing I wrote about last time. You might recall that I was pretty excited about it, and I still am, but I’ve had to slow waaaay down with it. I got a little overzealous and went 100% raw and lost weight that I didn’t need to lose (nor wanted to). While it’s true that many people go on a raw food diet specifically to lose weight and become healthier, I just wanted to become healthier and increase my energy. And I discovered that being underweight does not make one feel energetic. So I cut back to about 50% raw for the time being while I try to gain back the weight I lost. I know – that’s not something you usually hear – trying to gain back weight – but some of us unfortunately fit into that category. I am still having green smoothies for breakfast every morning, which I love. So, I’m not giving up on raw, but I have to find a way to do it without losing weight, and that may take me a while since I’m focusing on several other things.

And one of the things I’ve been focusing on is publishing my book. Like, really focusing, pushing myself. And I am thrilled to say that I’ve made significant progress! In fact, I hope to be sharing some exciting news very soon! Sorry no deets yet – that will be described in a post of its own, you can be sure.  But I promise I won’t leave you hanging for long!

In other news, we’ve lived in our current home for almost seven years, and the carpet is sporting seven years’ worth of stains and hard living (with two boys and various pets trampling it), so I’m having it replaced. I had hoped to have it done while the boys were away, but it turns out that the installers are on Spring Break as well. So it’s going to be done next week, and I’ve spent all of this week moving everything out of the rooms and closets – seven years’ worth of books, DVDs, papers, Lego, clothing, Nerf guns, action figures, cars, stuffed animals, and whatever else I stuffed in our back room, to be sorted later. Then I touched up the walls in the rooms that will get new carpet, and I used up a half gallon of paint just “touching up” the boys’ rooms!  Not to mention half a container of Spackle. God help me, boys are hard on a house!

But those boys are also the loves of my life, and I enjoyed talking to them on the phone yesterday. They are having a blast, spending time with their dad and visiting with L.A. friends, and they even got to go to Universal Studios! Nigel was ecstatic over the Jurassic Park ride, of course. Aidan, with his vestibular issues, preferred the Mummy ride. They had flown down again, their second solo flight, and everything went well. When it was time to board, I waited with them in line for a few minutes, and as they neared the ticket-taking agent, Aidan said gently, “Mom, I think we’ll be fine now. You don’t need to wait with us.” And Nigel chimed in, “Yeah.” So I tried not to cry and hugged them, saying, “Be safe and have a great time. I love you!” And as I stepped out of the line, an older lady a few feet behind us said good-naturedly, “You boys be good now!” And right then, at that moment in the airport, I felt like a regular parent. A regular parent saying goodbye to her teenage sons as they boarded a plane, trusting that everything would be fine.

I smiled and waved, watching them pull their carry-ons. And for the first time, I felt normal. I know – we shouldn’t use that word. I even discourage Nigel from using it when he describes non-autistic people, because I want him to think of himself as normal too. But the nonchalant way that woman said what she said, and the way I felt just knowing that I didn’t have to worry, I can’t think of another word for it. I guess the fact that I was aware of feeling that way negates the normalcy of it. But I don’t care. I felt normal, or what I assumed felt normal, and it was great, that little glimpse. And hard-won. I sat at the gate for a while longer, and then I watched the plane take off, taking my beautiful, almost-grown boys with it. And although I feel disjointed with them away, somehow it feels a little more manageable this time. A little more normal.

12 thoughts on “The Lowdown, Vol. 3

  1. fighting for my children

    Hey, my kids are away for spring break too, what a coinkydink lol. No other city near me has the same spring break lol.

  2. Kim

    love this. love the glimpse. sounds like you have been able to relax a bit more this time around. Yay for that!

  3. goodfountain

    Love reading your lowdowns. I know you miss the boys, but enjoy the break, too.

    Hey I’ve been messing around with Green Smoothies lately. So far I’ve added either kale or spinach. Sarah won’t touch them, but Charlotte loves them. Would love to try to some other varieties – if you have any favorites, feel free to share if you want.

  4. Carrie

    I would both love and hate a week alone in my own house. I get it.

    So jealous you’re getting new carpet, I cannot even tell you.

  5. Lex Savko

    Thanks for the update on the raw foods diet. I myself have had to undergo a change of diet, a change to the way things used to be: no more red meat, no more pork. I’m trying to lower my cholesterol, I’ll tell you more later. But you offer a good lesson regarding any diet change: moderation is usually the best policy. Good luck keeping your energy up!

  6. M

    normal is underrated. at least at certain times, normal can be a big, beautiful word.

    i know of a restaraunt in the area that specializes in raw foods, i’ve been curious to try it. they also sell little shots of hyper-healthy super drinks. i don’t know what they are, but it’s supposed to be like crack for hippies. i’d like to try one those and if i feel nothing, hit a bar.

  7. Carrie N

    “…at that moment in the airport, I felt like a regular parent. A regular parent saying goodbye to her teenage sons as they boarded a plane, trusting that everything would be fine.” Awesome!

    Cannot wait to read your book.

  8. Christine

    So when I read about your raw diet awhile back I thought hey that sounds like a great idea, I should read up on it. I never did, but I started making conscience raw decisions. Like you, I did breakfast and lunch and I had the same response. I didn’t have a lot of weight to lose so I quickly went to the other side of the weight problem. Meat has always made me a little queasy, so gaining back isn’t as easy as one would think.

    YES, boys are hard on homes. I quiver when I think back to how beautiful our home was when we bought it 6 years ago. Every room needs to be painted now.

    It is good to catch up on how you are doing. I can’t wait to hear more about the book.

  9. Brenda

    Love hearing what you’ve been up to. Proud of you for being able to walk away from the boys. And so proud of you for doing you things. You need it.

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