Metaphor
The Scene: Teenage boy’s bedroom. The occupant has autism and, although he eventually learned to talk, he is characteristically literal-minded and often has difficulty understanding various figures of speech. Those close to him have learned to take what he says at face value and proceed accordingly. The floor of the bedroom is piled high with dirty clothes, papers, trash, food wrappers, Lego and Bionicle pieces, DVDs, books, and magazines. The boy’s mother, astounded that even with the weekly room-cleaning sessions the mess still builds up so quickly, stands in the doorway with her hands on her hips. She recalls previous attempts and avoidance techniques and congratulates herself that she has at least implemented the mandatory weekly sessions prior to allowance disbursement and movie time. The mess is nowhere near as bad as it used to get, and for that she is relieved. She steps inside the room and gives suggestions for a plan of attack, pointing at the largest pile and urging her son to first put away the clothes, and that will make the pile seem a lot smaller. The son gestures wildly at the pile.
Teenage son: What a load of crap!
Mother (matter-of-factly): Well, if it’s crap, let’s throw it away then.
Teenage son (aghast): It’s not all crap! It’s a metaphor! You can’t take it literally!
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22 Responses to “Metaphor”
November 17th, 2009 at 4:08 am
ha! love it .. you ever see george carlin’s bit on ’stuff vs crap’?
November 17th, 2009 at 4:39 am
It’s not often that I spit coffee on my keyboard laughing! I can picture that very clearly, and bonus points to him for recognizing a metaphor. We’re definitely still working on that one…one of my daughters told me a few weeks ago that I looked like something the cat dragged in (I did- swine flu), and it took quite a bit of explaining to the other daughter
November 17th, 2009 at 6:09 am
that’s awesome! we do that too–make him clean his room before we give out allowance. he gets so overwelmed with mess, too.
November 17th, 2009 at 6:11 am
That’s funny! Love that he said it (aghast!) with inflection too!
We’re fully literal here. I forget.
The most recent reminder came at Target the other day when I called “Hop On!” (in reference to the shopping cart), and instead of a passenger we had a little girl hopping through the aisles (30 minutes - Hop On!)
November 17th, 2009 at 7:26 am
hahaha…..
……I am in the same boat, how does it get messy so quickly, and a child who has no idea what to do with the mess they have created…..
November 17th, 2009 at 8:14 am
That’s great! I love it when Jonathan uses the idioms he’s learned in school. And the room….my Post It Note Tuesday alludes to the same thing.
November 17th, 2009 at 8:40 am
Awesome!! What a good idea. We are working on the cleaning up at the end of the day around here. Husband usually shuffles him upstairs to take a bath and leaves me to clean everything up–last night I instituted a “no bath until toys are cleaned up rule” and I’m hoping it will work!
November 17th, 2009 at 8:53 am
Woo-hoo for metaphorical crap!!
Sounds like both you & he got that conversation just right.
Also, there is a hilarious Neil Young song called “Piece of Crap”…
November 17th, 2009 at 9:13 am
Great entry. YOu wouldnt believe just how many times I here those kind of statements from children. I bet when Nigel said that your mouth either just hung open or you had to lock your lips together in astonishment and maybe personal laughter at the statement. That is classic. Loved reading it.
November 17th, 2009 at 10:31 am
Wow - how often we celebrate what otherwise might be seen as inappropriate.
November 17th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
OMHOG! : )
November 17th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Haha, LMAO. I am not too literal-minded, but I love literal jokes (although they lose their humor when used too often).
November 17th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
It’s fun when they start parroting back the lessons we taught them, isn’t it? That’s when you know they were actually listening after all.
Tell me he didn’t give you the (OMG you are so dumb, mom) eyeroll.
November 18th, 2009 at 7:42 am
hahahahaha!!! love it!
nigel, i have tons and tons of crap metaphors.
November 18th, 2009 at 11:14 am
Wait until you get to the stage of invading their privacy and space!
My son loves his piles of crap.
November 19th, 2009 at 6:38 am
the more he plays with the concept of metaphor, the more nuanced his arguments are going to be when he wants to avoid chores. you’ve got some lengthy, complex discussions in the days ahead.
i know chore-aversion has motivated me to use all sorts of grammatical flourishes.
November 19th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
Knowing you all as well as I do, reading this was thoroughly enjoyable! Reading all you write, Tanya, is so impressive given your skills and talents in this department, my author-daughter, but have you ever given serious thought to writing plays? The scene set-up you do is fantastic, and allows the reader to ‘act’ the dialogue in their heads so easily. I can see this being a boon to actors reading a play or screenplay — your writing skills ALLOW the emotions and reactions to leap out in the right places, without overkill. You are good, girl! Love, Mom.
November 19th, 2009 at 8:34 pm
Oh! So funny. Love it!
November 19th, 2009 at 9:05 pm
ROFL… That is funny! Me and Nigel would make good roommates!
November 21st, 2009 at 2:21 pm
Tanya, I was going to share part of your post with my grad students. I am teaching a class right now that includes autism. I love the humor that is threaded through life so will add this little story if okay with you. I also write about my experiences with my daughter and her mental illness. Within all the agony are so many funny stories. She was in a locked-down psych unit and I was guarding the door of the community bathroom (which didn’t lock of course) when a fellow patient came up to me swinging a tea bag in my face and said, “Honey, you look really, really sick. I hope you are seeing someone.” A smile in the middle of a really bad day. I will keep your information confidential but do want to share from parents’ perspectives in my course if okay with you. Thank you for your post!
November 21st, 2009 at 3:20 pm
hahaha, love it!
November 24th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
So funny!
I have a 6yo with autism and the misunderstanding of metaphors is popping up more and more often. It always makes me laugh.
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