Comments on: After the Fixing

By: Tanya Savko

Tanya Savko — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 02:39:01 +0000

Hi Ellie,

Thanks for stopping by. I am sorry to hear about your terrible experience with the boy you had befriended. Bullying of any kind is unacceptable, whether autism is involved or not. If the boy has an official diagnosis of autism, here in the US he would have what’s called an IEP - Individual Education Plan - which is written by his teachers, parents, and any therapists who work with him. Any behavioral problems would be addressed within the IEP, and that would encompass the bullying, which would certainly be dealt with. I’m not familiar with how such issues would be handled in other countries, but I sincerely hope that something can and will be done about your situation.

Best wishes,

Tanya Savko

By: ellie

ellie — Sun, 30 May 2010 03:16:52 +0000

hey, i read your blog about children with autism being bullied.
over the past few years, (im in year 12) i have been bullied by a boy with autism, he was new at our school and people did pick on him and i became friends with him, and a few months later he had a crush on me, i didnt know and we talked a bit and i told him about this boy that i liked (not him) and he started abusing me, calling me names, he also did the same thing to my sister, he posted abusive blogs about me and my sister, including death threats. We took it to the school principle, with all the printed pages of abuse. nothing was done because of his autism,
we took it to the police because the abuse became physical and we were getting pushed over, thrown to the ground, into walls, he even kicked one of my friends right infront of a teacher and they did nothing.
he posted our personal information on a web site that millions of people use every day, his main was of abuse was through the internet but it soon changed to upfront and personal, a few months after all this had passed and we had just left it, i was talking to one of my friends and he stormed over and grabbed me by the neck and strangled me then spat on me. The school finally kicked him out for strangling me. its been a year since that happened, but the emails, the blogs and the harrasment on the new site formspring. it carries on. this boy is older than me, what he has done to me, he never got punished for what he did to me, he has his sisters abusing me calling me a slut, calling me a liar, he has tricked people into believing that he never did any of the stuff and his family believe him.
i was wondering if you could help me understand from your side being a parent with a child with it, and also just saying that its not only them getting bullied, they bully to.

By: Jen

Jen — Mon, 10 May 2010 13:56:22 +0000

Thanks so much for the information and the links. My little girl has Autism but is mainstreamed in Kindergarten. She is having a very hard time dealing with a boy in her class that is constantly picking on her. The teacher has moved her but it has now escalated to the point where my daughter does not even want to be anywhere near this little boy. I will also be looking into adding some type of ‘disablility awareness’ to her IEP. That is a terrific idea and other children would definitely benefit from a class like this! So glad the school year is almost out though!

By: Carol

Carol — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 22:08:09 +0000

Oh boy, too bad I didn’t have this information a year ago or so; J was verbally bullied–not by his peers, but by a borderline sadistic aide! We did everything we could - talked with the teacher, sent e-mails, etc., but never went any further. Nothing ever got resolved, so we pulled J out of school. I will always regret not doing more.

By: Gavin Bollard

Gavin Bollard — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 21:16:36 +0000

Great post and some really interesting points.

I personally didn’t have too much trouble with bullying at school because I tended to;

a. Keep out of the way of bullies
b. Be less reactive
c. “Sacrifice” my personality to be amusing instead.

I think I was relatively sheltered at school.

I was stunned when my son first started school and was required to sign (every year) an anti-bullying contract. All children at my son’s school are required to sign it.

Thus far, he has not been bullied (well, not badly enough to tell us about it) but if I ever discovered it was happening, I’d be up at the school and talking to them about the “contract” immediately.

I just can’t fathom how bullying of any kind could be tolerated in modern schools. It certainly isn’t in my son’s school.

By: kyra

kyra — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 18:11:37 +0000

i hate that nigel was ever bullied. hate it.

thank you for this link. i hope to never need it for fluffy’s sake. but i’m glad the information is out there for all ‘our’ other kids in the school system.

By: pixiemama

pixiemama — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 00:22:46 +0000

You are so right - fix the child with ASD’s behavior but not the bully’s? Wrong messages going every direction there.

I’m glad Nigel is doing better.

By: Jess Wilson

Jess Wilson — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 17:46:26 +0000

This is great info. I will be passing it on to friends who have been trying to figure out where to go next. Thank you so much for sharing it!!

By: Casdok

Casdok — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 13:46:33 +0000

Really good idea to write it into the IEP. But so sad that it should have to come to that.
Fingers crossed that Nigel’s new school continues to be positive.

By: Nicki

Nicki — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 03:54:35 +0000

It definitely makes sense that, instead of just trying to train kids with special needs to deal with others who may tease them, they should also focus on teaching all children that bullying is certainly not okay in any way.
Also, as far as social skills training for kids with special needs, it seems to me that some social skills training programs do more harm than good, at least for the “short run.” A lot of times they focus on teaching kids social skills that would be used by, say, a business man, instead of on social skills that would be used by a typical kid. For instance, teaching kids to shake hands with each other and say, “Hello, how are you,” would not help a 10-year-old as much as teaching him things like, “Whats up” doesn’t mean look up at the ceiling and that slapping five isn’t a violent gesture. Ya know?