Comments on: Sibling Needs http://teenautism.com/2009/09/27/sibling-needs/ Beyond ABA, after OT . . . what now? Mon, 06 Feb 2012 08:39:33 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1 By: Teen Autism » Blog Archive » The Funk http://teenautism.com/2009/09/27/sibling-needs/comment-page-1/#comment-15168 Teen Autism » Blog Archive » The Funk Fri, 23 Oct 2009 05:29:02 +0000 http://teenautism.com/?p=350#comment-15168 [...] last night my other son needed me more. Last night Aidan was still recuperating from a vaccine reaction. Yes, I said it. I’m [...] [...] last night my other son needed me more. Last night Aidan was still recuperating from a vaccine reaction. Yes, I said it. I’m [...]

]]> By: Goldie http://teenautism.com/2009/09/27/sibling-needs/comment-page-1/#comment-14432 Goldie Fri, 02 Oct 2009 01:49:40 +0000 http://teenautism.com/?p=350#comment-14432 It is very complicated. Thankfully, you are aware of the unbalance & try to take steps to rectify the situation, make both children feel special. That is a gift to both of them. We recently had "the talk" with our oldest (4.5 years) & used the word Autism. He needed to know & try to understand as much as he could. It has been hard for him when he tries to love his baby brother & it is not reciprocated. Or his brother hurts him... or won't play with him. Or we have to leave somewhere fun because little bro is screaming. I tried to not make Autism out to be a bad word, but rather as an explanation of how some people operate differently. But I still worry about the strain this puts on the big brother. It is very complicated. Thankfully, you are aware of the unbalance & try to take steps to rectify the situation, make both children feel special. That is a gift to both of them.

We recently had “the talk” with our oldest (4.5 years) & used the word Autism. He needed to know & try to understand as much as he could. It has been hard for him when he tries to love his baby brother & it is not reciprocated. Or his brother hurts him… or won’t play with him. Or we have to leave somewhere fun because little bro is screaming. I tried to not make Autism out to be a bad word, but rather as an explanation of how some people operate differently. But I still worry about the strain this puts on the big brother.

]]> By: dynamite girl http://teenautism.com/2009/09/27/sibling-needs/comment-page-1/#comment-14415 dynamite girl Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:51:38 +0000 http://teenautism.com/?p=350#comment-14415 I started reading this post twice before I could finish it. The pain of having 4 children with varying levels of need is painfully sharp today. How do I let each child know I love them, when one child requires so much more from me? I tell them over and over and pray they hear me. I started reading this post twice before I could finish it. The pain of having 4 children with varying levels of need is painfully sharp today. How do I let each child know I love them, when one child requires so much more from me? I tell them over and over and pray they hear me.

]]> By: Alicia http://teenautism.com/2009/09/27/sibling-needs/comment-page-1/#comment-14382 Alicia Wed, 30 Sep 2009 18:44:22 +0000 http://teenautism.com/?p=350#comment-14382 What an important issue to write about, and i love that you do so with such vulnerable candor. its weird for me in that its completely flipped. it SHOULD be that CB is taking all my attention as her needs are the most "hands on" but in another way i can (and do) totally "ignore" her bc she has minimal needs to socialize with us. As long as she's fed and changed and has her stimmy toys, she is happy enough to be left alone. and i too often oblige simply bc the 3 others (4,3, and 22 months) are so gosh darn DEMANDING and in my FACE 24-7. so, like, they get all of me and CB gets precious little. so i have reverse sibling guilt. My quietest one gets all of my heart but the least of my attention... What an important issue to write about, and i love that you do so with such vulnerable candor.

its weird for me in that its completely flipped. it SHOULD be that CB is taking all my attention as her needs are the most “hands on” but in another way i can (and do) totally “ignore” her bc she has minimal needs to socialize with us. As long as she’s fed and changed and has her stimmy toys, she is happy enough to be left alone. and i too often oblige simply bc the 3 others (4,3, and 22 months) are so gosh darn DEMANDING and in my FACE 24-7. so, like, they get all of me and CB gets precious little. so i have reverse sibling guilt. My quietest one gets all of my heart but the least of my attention…

]]> By: Carrie http://teenautism.com/2009/09/27/sibling-needs/comment-page-1/#comment-14311 Carrie Tue, 29 Sep 2009 02:05:53 +0000 http://teenautism.com/?p=350#comment-14311 Oh, Tanya. How well I know! My daughter complains bitterly, as well she SHOULD. It's not even "lopsided," it's more like 90/10 around here. Guilt you could cut with a knife. Oh, Tanya. How well I know! My daughter complains bitterly, as well she SHOULD. It’s not even “lopsided,” it’s more like 90/10 around here. Guilt you could cut with a knife.

]]> By: Nicki http://teenautism.com/2009/09/27/sibling-needs/comment-page-1/#comment-14310 Nicki Tue, 29 Sep 2009 01:53:04 +0000 http://teenautism.com/?p=350#comment-14310 It is hard for kids to understand that a sibling NEEDS more attention, and its not that you love him more but that you're trying to help give one child what the other child naturally has. Do you ever get to go out and spend some time with your other son without Nigel? It is hard for kids to understand that a sibling NEEDS more attention, and its not that you love him more but that you’re trying to help give one child what the other child naturally has. Do you ever get to go out and spend some time with your other son without Nigel?

]]> By: Brenda http://teenautism.com/2009/09/27/sibling-needs/comment-page-1/#comment-14309 Brenda Tue, 29 Sep 2009 01:11:44 +0000 http://teenautism.com/?p=350#comment-14309 I have a friend who says that surely life isn't fair, but every child is getting what he needs. You're doing an amazing job balancing their needs. And still keeping your sanity! I have a friend who says that surely life isn’t fair, but every child is getting what he needs. You’re doing an amazing job balancing their needs. And still keeping your sanity!

]]> By: Jenn E http://teenautism.com/2009/09/27/sibling-needs/comment-page-1/#comment-14308 Jenn E Tue, 29 Sep 2009 00:45:45 +0000 http://teenautism.com/?p=350#comment-14308 That's why I quit my office job so Lila could have some undivided Mommy attention. We do the best we can with what we've got to work with. Oh and me too with the Tanya does a fantastic job. xoxo That’s why I quit my office job so Lila could have some undivided Mommy attention.

We do the best we can with what we’ve got to work with.

Oh and me too with the Tanya does a fantastic job.

xoxo

]]> By: Cathy http://teenautism.com/2009/09/27/sibling-needs/comment-page-1/#comment-14293 Cathy Mon, 28 Sep 2009 16:31:15 +0000 http://teenautism.com/?p=350#comment-14293 so, so true--we try so hard to balance things around here, too. great post! so, so true–we try so hard to balance things around here, too. great post!

]]> By: Michelle S http://teenautism.com/2009/09/27/sibling-needs/comment-page-1/#comment-14289 Michelle S Mon, 28 Sep 2009 15:30:24 +0000 http://teenautism.com/?p=350#comment-14289 I. can. so. relate. I. can. so. relate.

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