Teen Autism

As we moms so often do, I’ll be taking my kids to see a movie that I could easily wait until it’s on DVD to see. But they really want to see it, and so it’s my treat to them. In five minutes we’ll be going to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and I’ll try to suffer through the shirtless Hugh Jackman scenes. Take one for the team, you know? So unfortunately I don’t have time to write the Mother’s Day post I’d hoped to write, the one about how much all the moms I know inspire me, how glad I am to know them, and how much they mean to me. All of them – from my mom, to my boss, to my co-workers, to my friends, to my readers, and to my sister, who’s been a mom for a month. Thanks for being there, for showing me the way, for encouraging me, and for just being your wonderful selves. I hope you’ll accept this re-posting of the Mother’s Day post I wrote last year, because I’m on my way out the door to spend some quality time with Hugh Jackman my boys. Happy Mother’s Day to all of you!

Fourteen years ago I celebrated my first Mother’s Day as a mother-to-be. My then-husband gave me a card saying what a wonderful mom he knew I’d be, and my own mom gave me a card with the same sentiment. I think back to the person I was then, not having any idea of the depth of emotion I would experience because of the little person in my belly and the one who would come after him.

Being a mother, autism or no autism, has taught me more about life than anything else I’ve experienced. Just the knowledge that it’s my job, my responsibility, to give these guys all the tools they need to lead a successful, happy life is enough to blow my mind. There are plenty of articles and books out there about how to raise good kids, how to be a better parent, but nothing can really prepare you. You have to jump in with both feet and just trust that you’ll be okay. That you’re going to make a few mistakes, and you’ll run into a few rough spots, but you’ll handle them. You’ll get through it and keep going.

As we moms know, being a mother isn’t always easy but it’s always worth it. We live for the days when we take our kids somewhere that they thought would be boring, and then not only can we tell that they really like it (as we knew they would), but they come up to us and hug us and say, “I really like this place, Mom. Thanks for taking me.” (That was Aidan at a museum last weekend.) And we live for the days when our children receive special awards or when, for the first time, they apologize for their behavior on their own instead of us having to do it (that was Nigel recently). We savor the triumphs, be they large or small, and think We’re getting there. I must be doing something right.

And the day will come when they are on their own. Even those of us with differently-abled kids will go through this change, on some level. I often wonder how I will feel when that time comes. How hard will it be to let go? It’s hard enough for me to let them ride their bikes to the grocery store! But I take comfort in the idea that it will happen little by little, just like how Nigel learned to talk, how he’s learning to be responsible for himself. I also take comfort in knowing that I will always be their mom. Nothing will change that.

So, here’s to all the good moms, like my own (love you, Mom!), and my friends who keep me sane. We need all the support we can get, in all the mothering stages of our lives.

This entry (Permalink) was posted on Saturday, May 9th, 2009 at 6:12 pm and is filed under Misc. Thoughts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response , or trackback from your own site.