Conversations With Nigel
Usually, my sons go to LA to visit their dad for two weeks in March for Spring Break, but this year their dad came up to Oregon to visit them. So I have not had an actual phone conversation with Nigel, other than “the-scout-meeting’s-over-come-pick-me-up,” since last July. In the past two weeks I have been reminded of what that’s like.
As with most of his conversations, phone or not, if Nigel’s not speaking about an Obsession of the Week, I have to drag any information out of him. He will rarely volunteer information unless it’s regarding something of interest to him, some piece of trivia about Back to the Future, natural disasters, ancient civilizations, or an explanation of his latest Lego creation, for example. He could never be accused of “B.S-ing” about something he did not know, and I doubt that will ever change.
But when I haven’t seen him for weeks, I want to hear more about how he’s been, what he’s been doing. And those are often difficult topics for him to discuss, especially if a TV is distracting him. I know this, it has always been this way, and so I am patient.
Me: So what did you do over the weekend?
Nigel: [silence]
Me: Did you go to the beach?
Nigel: [silence]
Me: Nigel? Did you go to the beach over the weekend?
Nigel: Yes.
Me: Which beach did you go to?
Nigel: I don’t know.
Me: Did you visit anyone?
Nigel: [silence]
Me: Nigel?
Nigel: [silence]
Me: Nigel, is the TV on?
Nigel: Yes.
Me: What are you watching?
Nigel: [silence]
Me: What are you watching on TV?
Nigel: The Lost Pyramid.
Me: Is it on the History Channel or Discovery?
Nigel: [silence]
Me: Is it on the History Channel or Discovery?
Nigel: History.
Me: Okay, well, I love you.
Nigel: I love you, too, bye.
Relieved, I’m sure, he hangs up. He knows I love you is the last thing we say on the phone. And I am always so glad I can hear him say it.
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3 Responses to “Conversations With Nigel”
September 12th, 2009 at 8:41 pm
my autistic son is 7 and i’m thinking ahead so I like your site. my son hates to talk, but when he does his voice is so amazing. i love it. an autistic child down the street, age 10, has a nearly identical voice. if you ever felt like adding an audio clip of Nigel talking that would be great.
February 28th, 2010 at 10:07 pm
[...] look forward to: “Hello, Mom. This is Nigel [insert last name] speaking.” Or perhaps a conversation like this one. Oh, well. I’m just happy to hear their [...]
July 26th, 2010 at 8:31 pm
[...] nine summers I have sat at my desk and stared at their pictures and talked to them on the phone. My “conversations” with Nigel haven’t always been on track, but he’s gotten better as the years have gone by. And [...]
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